So, I’ve been sitting around with this post hanging out in my drafts for about a week now. I didn’t really know what I wanted to say about grain sacks. Not feeling that they really need much explanation at this point. I mean. They’re grain sacks and they’re fun to decorate with. Am I right?! I just wasn’t feeling inspired to say anything, so I didn’t say anything at all. Then I got this huge jolt of something this afternoon when throwing my bedding into the wash, of all things! I don’t know what came over me, maybe fear. I started thinking about what’s on my plate for tomorrow. And what’s on my plate for tomorrow is my first ever real design consultation. I’d continue that sentence with “for a non-family member”, but I’ve never even done that, really, because I’ve been too scared. So, here’s where it starts. I went to college, oh, 13 years ago. Wait. Can that be right? 13 years ago already?!? Okay, anyway, I started my college career not knowing what the heck I was doing, so I just started with gen eds at the local university. After a year, my best friend had decided to change schools and encouraged me to do the same. She thought I’d be good at interior design because I’d always had an interest in it and suggested I go to the local community college to get my degree (it was the only place around at the time that offered an interior design degree). So, I went. The university wasn’t doing much for me since I was lost on where I was going in my education, so what did I have to lose? After a year of interior design and business classes, I threw in the towel. Not because it was hard or I didn’t like it. But because I was scared. It actually makes me tear up writing those words. The things I’ve given up in the name of fear make me angry. It’s not fair what I’ve done to myself over the years. I got married about a week after finishing my last exam at the community college and never went back. I tried one more year at my first university in something I’m embarrassed to even admit to because I was grabbing at straws, wondering if and when I’d ever find a career I loved. I quit that after a year and just stopped going to school altogether. I was lost and tired of trying to figure it out, so I gave up. Fast forward to this year when a rep from Lowe’s asked me to work on a project. After saying no to such projects here and there over the past decade, I finally said yes. I had been saying no to God ever since I quit my interior design degree pursuit at the community college and I was finally saying yes to Him again! I’ve slowly been taking steps over the past 6 months to year that combined gave me the strength and courage to say yes to this opportunity. I just finally gave up on my excuses and let God be in charge. I remember thinking “what if it’s terrible and I just can’t do it?” & “what if I fail and look like a total idiot?”. And lots of other depressing thoughts. But I was able to push them aside and just trust long enough to send the email with a “yes” in my response! And I loved just about every second of that process. When I was working on the design at my home and when I actually got to go to the space and help install all the ideas I had thought up, I was totally and fully in my element. I knew during that process that God had put me there for a reason and He had me say yes to this opportunity for a reason. This was what I was meant to do with my life and I had turned God down for all these years. Again, it hurts just to say that. But it’s okay because I’m finally on the right track! But you know what?! I’m still insanely scared. Sure, I probably shouldn’t say that because some future client is going to read this and not trust me. But I’m here to share my heart with you today and that’s what’s on it! I’m scared. I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to work on that Lowe’s project and I’m equally as grateful to have the client be so happy with my work that she’d like me to design more rooms in her home for her. It’s a dream come true! But I’m still scared. I still think I’ll get there tomorrow and totally go blank and not have a creative thing to say during the whole consultation. But I’m going to do it anyway. And I have my suspicions that God will get me through the whole thing. I know I’m a little on the terrified side now, but when I get in my element, things just start flowing. I’ve already seen it happen because I said yes to God when I agreed to do that bathroom makeover. He’s shown me I can do this and that I’m good at it. I just need to continue to trust that He will see me through this career path and will continue to show me more opportunities as I continue to say yes to Him! I have so much to learn, but I’m excited about it! I’m excited for this new adventure and all the places it could lead me! I’m ready, God!